How to lift the curse of


Fire up the Tesla Coils Avoid re-creating a Monster Don't work in a dark basement Hire a designer, not a butcher

Let’s say you could travel five years into the future and ask a bunch of your customers to tell you what went wrong with your new website.

What would they say?

  1. Lazy typography.
  2. Mobile averse design.
  3. A uniquely counter-intuitive user experience.

In other words, what you rushed out is ... a Frankensite.


[frang-kuh n-sahyt]

  1. A website whose design is a neck-bolted marvel of inconsistent typography, clichéd imagery, and a ‘style’ that can only be described as lame.
  2. A website whose content is so badly written it’s only coherent message is a plea to be put out of its misery.
  3. A website that gives Google the #rankenfright and that the Linkerati only – and reluctantly – link to as an example of something gone horribly wrong.
  4. A website so hideously unresponsive no amount of tablets could bring it back to life.
  5. A website you can’t let go because you have put your heart and soul into it and consider it ‘your baby’.

“Look! It’s moving. It’s alive. It’s alive.”

We’ve all seen them ...

And not just the lumbering old dinosaurs that take an age to load and defy any known laws of mobile usability.

Even the New-beast-on-the-block start-up sites can make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up with their ship-it first tinker later immaturity ...

Give your creation “LIFE!”

Sure, you have to ship. ‘It’s alive! Alive!’ And very often you can roll out the crash-cart to adapt on the fly.

Here are 9 simple, effective, Tesla coil free checklist ideas you can do to bring a Frankensite back from the walking dead or avoid shipping a monster all together.

52% of visitors want to see “about us” information on a company’s homepage.Source: KoMarketing

Visitors are nosey — As soon as they hit your site ...

Guess what?

They zero in on your “About us” information or “About me” page so be ready for them with a blockbuster brand story.

People want to know;

  1. Where did the big idea came from?
  2. Who is the genius behind it?
  3. Which other nosey-parkers loved what you do?

If your About Us/Me page were a movie, it would be a blockbuster to your customers and a sweep-em-off-their feet rom-com to your future employees.

44% of website visitors will leave a company’s website if there’s no contact information or phone number.Source: KoMarketing

Be mindful and efficient — Lay out screens so that frequently accessed information like your contact or support information is easily found: phone number, physical address, and email address.

Other features can also help, such as including photo's of your offices or listings of memberships and industry associations.

Additionally, make it easy to verify your credibility by including third-party references such as endorsements, citations or links to source material.

79% of online shoppers who experience a dissatisfying visit are less likely to buy from that site again.Source: Forrester and Akamai

Convince with answers — Readers will pay more attention if you can present features as solutions to their problems.

By focusing your content ideas around the actual outcome (the end user benefits or the transformation results) and not the service delivery (as most businesses do) you’ll be in a much better position to quickly relate to the needs of your visitors in new and interesting ways.

Despite all the selfies, TED Talks and cat videos, the web is still 95% words.Source: Stephen Shaw

Every website needs eye-catching design and an intuitive interface, but the real face of your brand is the typeface because contrary to what your designer might tell you we still only buy what we read.

You’ve spent a lot of money on your brand ID — don’t skimp on supporting that brand with ill considered web typography and a monster looking web typeface.

Understand the the difference of Print vs Web fonts. Web fonts are super charged for online reading.

Use brief sentences to improve the rhythm of your copy — short and broken sentences are simply easier to read.

Personalised Call-To-Actions (CTAs) convert 42% more visitors into leads than untargeted CTAs.Source: HubSpot

Make it personal — Encourage your readers to follow a certain path. Lead with the benefits and make CTAs stand out.

ContentVerve saw a 90% increase in click-through rate by using first-person phrasing: “Start my free 30 day trial” vs. “Start your free 30 day trial ”

What's First-person phrasing?

First-person phrasing refers to the user himself (i.e., I, me, we, and us).

  1. First person: I and we
  2. Second person: you
  3. Third person: He/She/It and They

Have you also tried adding a little urgency? Use persuasion techniques in order to make people act now rather than later. (e.g. “Do this before it’s too late”.)

People scan-read web pages in an F pattern. As a result, they read the third word on a line much less often than the first two words. Anticipate this and put your most important copy at the beginning of the line.Source: Nielson Norman Group

Do something radical for me: read your Frankensite as though you had never read it before, like a new customer.

And as you’re reading away, ask yourself:

  1. Do the headings grab my attention?
  2. Does the first line of every page hook me in and keep me there from start to finish?
  3. Do I understand exactly what this company does (without needing to ask for more clarity)?
  4. Is there a brand story here and does that brand story buy into my story (my values, aspirations, ideas)?
  5. Is the language used my language and on my level?
  6. Would I recommend it to a friend or work colleague?

If not, hire a professional copywriter or cancel the Halloween party, lock yourself in the basement and don’t come back out until you have content that both charms your customers and scares your competition to death.

74% of web browsers pay attention to the quality of spelling and grammar on company websites.Source: RealBusiness

As 74% of browsers pay close attention to the quality of spelling and grammar get at least one person (not your mum) with an English degree to make sure your final content is top quality and really worth the read.

Remember too that your readers — impatient, time poor, and probably reading your content on a screen 4.7 inches tall and 2.64 inches wide — prefer short, crisp, straight-to-the-point sentences.

You literally have less than 7 seconds to grab someone's attention. Try to help you cut out the noise.

39% of people will stop engaging with a website if images won’t load or take too long to load.Source: Adobe

Before you hit ‘upload’, remember that 39% of people will stop engaging with a website if the images or media won’t load or take too long to load.

So have in place a clear strategy for delivering a speedy user experience no matter what location or type of OS, device or browser your customers are using.

Here are some tips and tools to use:

Make sure GZIP compression is enabled. Not sure if it's enabled? Test your site here.

Additionally get your web developer to minify your HTML, CSS and JS and remove any unnecessary code (I use Boubon, Neat and Sage to build responsive frameworks and Gulp to optimise the code and media assets) and insist on using Scalable Vector Graphics (SVG) for all graphical elements.

On the most basic level, Google could see how satisfied users were. To paraphrase Tolstoy, happy users were all the same. The best sign of their happiness was the “Long Click” — This occurred when someone went to a search result, ideally the top one, and did not return. That meant Google has successfully fulfilled the query.Source: Steven Levy

Dwell time (a metric that calculates user engagement, session duration, and SERP CTRs) is used by Google to judge whether your site is either:

  • a) A terrifyingly comprehensive answer to their searchers’ questions.
  • b) A horrifyingly paper-thin solution to their searchers’ problems.

So if you have the complete answer to a searcher’s problem, don’t hold back and give them everything they need in one place.

The user — and Google — will applaud your generosity.

To unlock all the website ideas in detail, download the FREE eBook ...

What Victor Frankenstein can teach you about reaching Website Perfection.

  1. Chapter 1: ‘It’s alive! Alive!’.
  2. Chapter 2: The full list of 21 ideas to avoid re-creating a monster.
  3. Chapter 3: Lift the Frankensite curse with EGOR’s top 6 internet marketing secrets.
  4. Chapter 4: Lessons on how to avoid hiring a Frankensite designer.
  5. Chapter 5: How to conduct a monster website audit.
  6. Chapter 6: EGOR’s 99 actionable website questions you should be asking.
  7. Chapter 7: 39 monster things to look out for.
  8. Chapter 8: Frankensteins secret chapter.
Download my ebook

A book dedicated to all #Frankensite owners.

For a short period of time I'm offering this “early release” eBook for FREE, it's a £29 value.

A “bad” marketing strategy will fail at all the above, rapidly burn through your marketing budget, and provide little return on investment.

A "good" marketing strategy will help you find new clients, help them see the world through a “better” lens, then quickly turn those prospects into new appointments.
Stephen Shaw. Founder of An Artful Science.
I Believe


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A book dedicated to all #Frankensite owners.

What Victor Frankenstein can teach you about reaching Website Perfection. For a short period of time I'm offering this “early release” eBook for FREE, it's a £29 value.

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